You only live once...
Hi Ravi,
I regularly follow your blog and I like your sarcastic style of writing. I have read several of your articles where you have highlighted the importance of living a quality life versus living a life under pressure to own a house as soon as possible at any cost in huge debt.
I think in life we have to make certain choices where we cannot achieve what others can because our circumstances are different. Mine is another such case.
I am an IT engineer and a daughter and a wife.
I am the only child of my parents so their entire responsibility is on me.
My parents are simple middle class people who worked hard, saved every penny so that they can give me a comfortable life and a good education.
They sacrificed nearly every personal need of theirs so that I can go to a convent school, become an engineer and have a happy childhood with all worldly comforts. Beautiful clothes, birthday gifts, toys, ice creams, picnics. Everything was for me and only me.
Until I graduated we lived in the heart of Pune city in our very old ancestral rented home.
They did not even buy a new flat within the city limits although they could have afforded it.
If they had bought that flat they would have had to cut out almost all the comforts from my life and a quality education.
So they bought a cheap apartment on the outskirts in a pathetic locality (just as a backup) while we continued to live in our ancestral home.
That 1.5 lakh difference mattered to them. And they made a choice. Me.
When I graduated eight years back we had to move out of our ancestral home.
Our backup apartment is on 3rd floor with no lift and my mother has health issues because of which she cannot climb those 3 set of stairs.
So eight years back, at the age of 22, I had to think about our future accommodation.
My starting salary at that time was 24K and rent was 7.5k.
My father retired around the same time with a government pension.
There was not enough money to buy a new flat within the city.
Options:
So there were two options.
Option 1: Save those 7.5k of rent for my future life and let my parents stay on the 3rd floor in a sad locality.
If I save the rent money I may even be able to buy a home inside the city in 7-8 years.
Or in that money I can have a lavish wedding.
Whatever!
My mother’s diabetes had impaired her health and climbing stairs would have been extremely difficult. She compromised saying “I won’t get out of the house much so I don’t have to climb the stairs”. From age 55 she would have been trapped in a house for months like a caged animal.
My father too was old. Neighbours were not nice. Water supply problems were there. Medical facilities, our relatives and all the other things that we were used to would have been unreachable for us.
Parents were ready (as always) to live that life as of course they don’t want their daughter to spend 7.5k every month.
Our scrupulous traditional middle class parents will never touch their daughter’s money!
Option 2: Spend the rent money, I will have fewer savings and let my parents live a decent life.
All their life they sacrificed and adjusted.
Don’t they deserve a good life at least during their last years?
Importance of TIME in life! YOLO!! (You only live once)
My parents are not going to have these last (healthy) years again!! Soon they will cross mid sixties after which they will be too old to even get out of the house.
This is the time window (55 to 65 years) when I can give them the lifestyle they deserve as the proud parents of a highly qualified daughter. So I take the decision and rent out an apartment (against my parents wishes).
Our backup apartment stays locked.
Eight years have passed and option 2 has worked out really really well!
How?
We live in a beautiful spot in Kothrud surrounded by greenery and beautiful bungalows.
My mother goes for walks every day since we live on the ground floor. She enjoys going to the market and being able to live a normal life.
My father is thrilled as there is a katta nearby where all the retired members like him meet in the evening.
All our relatives live nearby.
We live in a 30 year old 1 BHK and the floor tiles belong to the 70s era.
But the people here are so friendly we live like one big family.
I can get a flat on rent in a high rise in a cosmopolitan atmosphere in Baner or Wakad (where I would be very happy btw J ).
But here we are surrounded by Marathi families like ours.
There is an excellent hospital nearby.
The convenience, homeliness and the safety of the neighbourhood are important to me.
The society does not have amenities like swimming pool, club house but my home is filled with happiness.
Priorities:
Years passed, I got promotions and salary increased. I was easily getting home loan. 1 BHK was a piece of cake and 2 BHK was also possible.
But turns out not buying a flat was very wise.
There were many things that had to be handled first.
We planned our monthly budget well, saved most of my salary, spent smartly and also had a little bit of fun.
Four years back my mother had a heart attack. Several hospitalizations and a bypass surgery set me back by around 8 lakhs.
But that was easily managed. I was never tense about money and my parents were relieved that we don’t have to borrow from anyone.
I had managed my finances so well that I gifted my mother a pair of gold earrings 2 months after the surgery for a speedy recovery!
I am happy too!
I was able to save for my own wedding.
Since our wedding expenses were well within our reach we were able to enjoy it completely.
I have also been able to fulfill some of my dreams.
I am passionate about travelling and I have been to my dream destinations Himachal Pradesh, Kerala, Dubai and New York.
In these eight years I have lived a fulfilling life.
Dining out in fine restaurants, going for shopping in malls are some of the things we never thought we would do.
My folks are happy that I am able to have fun and don’t have to scrimp and save like a person in debt.
I do not frown like a debt ridden son when some unexpected expense turns up.
I have seen the scenes from movies\tv serials where the son reproaches his parents when any expense comes up as he has a big loan and says “Baba atta kasa shakya ahe! Tumhala kalat nahi ka loan ahe”. Way to go son!
This is what you give your parents in return for their entire life spent on you!!
Unbelievably, I have seen this scene in real life also in many homes!!!
These guys have a 2 BHK and a Sedan worth 10 lakhs but they will frown upon if their parents\wife have to have something basic.
There was a time when my parents made a choice between me and their dream home.
When I grew up I made a similar choice.
It’s okay if I don’t have my own flat at the age of 26 like IT engineers do.
I will have it when I am 35 or 40 years old.
But these 10 years of my life were important to me.
Spending on top notch medical treatment, living comfortably, travelling around the world, saving for my wedding, supporting my husband were my top priority.
All the while I am saving money aside for my dream house too.
I am halfway there, slowly and steadily I will get there.
You must work out a plan that suits your circumstances and live happily because you only live once.
Regards,
Are girls better home buyers than boys?:
In the last 10 years, I have talked to thousands of young first time flat buyers in Pune.
Out of them most of the boys were babies. Naive. Lacking worldly experience and understanding. Selfish. Irresponsible.
Against that the girls were wise, mature, responsible & caring ladies.
Like the girl in the above letter.
I am very much convinced that girls are not only better homemakers. The girls are smart homebuyers too.
What say you? Share your views in the comments, please.
Related Stories:
1) Intellectually Weaker Section (IWS) of Hinjewadi IT Engineers can learn a lot from this girl
2) Little Earth Covai Retirement Community Opens Admissions! Now, daughters can pamper their parents
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Awesome blog sir and eye opener for all people to set priority rightly between materialistic things and loved ones. No doubt about it that women are wiser and much more mature with sense of responsibilities. But then I feel in our society parents are also to be blamed when they help their sons/daughters to venture into deals for which they are not quiet capable to take responsible and mature enough to understand pros & cons of there decision.
ReplyDelete1) Eye opener indeed
Delete2) I completely agree with you about the parents.
Thanks for sharing your views, FreedomFromCorruption.
You must be woman to comment like this
DeleteGood One Ravi...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Manohar! All credit goes to the lady.
DeletePerfect and well said :)
ReplyDeleteHi Girl in the blog,
ReplyDeleteReally loved your life story and congratulations on the way your are handling the finances + family. Superb!
I am sure you are a continuous thinker on personal financing and surely will improve your skills with your experience and observations. This is one of the highly rare skill which you have and I wish you own a 3BHK or a bunglow someday.
Keeping rocking and best luck for your journey.
-Omkar
I am neither a financial expert nor want to preach how one should spend their money. But I had to say somethings on my mind after I read this.
ReplyDeleteThis is a new age idea that kids have to be the centre of universe for the parents. My parents did not neglect us, and did pamper us, but we were not considered when it came to financial planning. A little pinch doesn't kill. So they bought land and build a house little away from city, and we had to travel bit more to school etc. They didn't buy fancy things but bought lands. Basically they took care of themselves financially.
In today's date buying house against the average salary earned by most seems expensive. But it doesn't replace a basic financial planning, house is just another asset bought out of savings to keep up with inflation-- an ideal scenario case, not applicable right now. Having fun is fine, but what about retirement planning, buying basic medical insurance for parents, term insurance in case that they are dependants on you, or even setting up money in a way they are independent from the interest they will receive from this planning, much better than paying for them and making them feel dependent.
Travel and eating out is frankly a luxury I don't afford myself unless the income is extremely expendable. I would much rather save for a rainy day. Or buy an insurance or SIP. Peace of mind. Life is fragile
Life is about the choices we make . Sorry Ravi I dont agree that girls are better than boys - rather it is upto the individual . I agree to Dev's practical comments above . The above example suggests a lack of financial planning . I come from the same Puneite background as the case portrayed above - I was able to be financial independent in first 10 years of working life - saving abt 70% of my income and investing in diversified assets while living a simple life inspite of working in IT . There are many similar people I know as well as the other spectrum of people who spent on personal loans , exotic vacations , branded items , expensive cars , pre launch bookings in village etc .
ReplyDeleteI believe in balance - you should fulfil needs of your dependents not their wants as wants are unending -let they be fulfilled by the person himself .
Western culture is living for oneself while eastern culture is all about sacrificing oneself for others . Why cant we think that I'll also live my life while fulfiling needs of my dependents and not sacrifice my life for their wants ? After all I also have a duty to myself ?
Social pressures are different for male vs female. Now a days, (for arrange marriage) all these so called good / caring girls show interest in marriage proposal only if boy has his own flat (probably 2 BHK) and is not staying with his (caring) parents/family.
DeleteA person is good or bad , he or she can be good financial planner or human being, sex - male or female has nothing to do it.
Buying a house is always difficult across generations. There is good saying in marathi - घर पाहावे बांधून आणि लग्न पाहावे करून!
"Now a days, (for arrange marriage) all these so called good / caring girls show interest in marriage proposal only if boy has his own flat (probably 2 BHK) and is not staying with his (caring) parents/family."
Delete- You nailed it on it's head. But one thing I don't understand - Why get married at such cost (loan for flat + away from parents) when you can buy same stuff without marriage ? In anycase, this is not marriage but going with highest bidder. Boy is nothing but Hindu Sheikh for them - Abu Bakr Al Togadiya !
Dev
ReplyDeleteGood thinking . Though I'm not a financial planner just would like to say that dont blindly put money in a SIP . That is great for a distributor not for the investor . Equity is at peak now going through the same hype and brain washing as real estate earlier .
90% of girls have 2 ears with nothing between them.
ReplyDeleteWhy do girls act as if they are handcrafted creatures while for boys there is tender floated which is awarded to Chinese company based in Shenzen ?
Take the case of third class Indian arranged marriage system. Whom are the girls married to ? To the highest bidder.
Boy 1 - Earns well, stays either with parents or in rented flat, moves around on a bike or has something like Alto or Wagon R & is almost debt free.
Boy 2 - Earns well, stays alone in purchased flat with lot of rented money, drives atleast Honda City/Verna/Vento, is spend thrift & can't save much since lot of loan is there.
Fact is boy 2 gets more offers.
Girls are caring my foot. These are most selfish, highly self obsessed, benefit centric & top class emotional dramabaaz to hide their mistakes.
This case is of Peth & new Peth (Kothrud). You ask me 1 & I can give you 10 examples how girls forced boy to stay separately from his parents. I can show you such cases in Karve nagar, Kothrud, Dahanukar colony, Mahatma society & much more. Girls want to take care of her own parents but same rule should not be applicable for boys. Had this not been the case, why the boy is staying separately from his parents post marriage despite being in same city ? And this I am saying even in cases where there is 3BHK flat, boy is forced by girl to move out.
Ofcourse, in such cases, boys are not boys but out of boundary direct shot, 4+2 !
And looking after parents and family is not just responsibility but duty. There is nothing great to drum beat that hey look how I care about my parents. She maybe feeling special that she takes care of her parents maybe because most of her neighbors elders must be in old age homes. This lady rather than going to Dubai or New York should go to Gujarat & Rajasthan & see how joint families stay together.
"I will have it when I am 35 or 40 years old. "
- This is precisely what we have discussed that 35+ is the min age to buy a house as you are sure about where you want to stay & also can buy with far less loan, thus more savings. But how much does society pressurizes boy to buy flat ? This lady who has written this email doesn't need to buy a flat, her husband needs to buy one, hence she could be carefree on this aspect.
"I have seen the scenes from movies\tv serials where the son reproaches his parents when any expense comes up as he has a big loan and says “Baba atta kasa shakya ahe! Tumhala kalat nahi ka loan ahe”. Way to go son! "
- And who makes that son to take loan at first place ? The girl. First before marriage to buy flat & then post marriage for bigger car, holidays, gadgets etc. It's the girl who looks at boys as ATM & then complaint that ATM can't dispense lot of money.
"Against that the girls were wise, mature, responsible & caring ladies. "
- Ghanta.
Here is latest yedi on your blog. Other yedis can be found at your KUL Ecoluch blogs -
http://ravikarandeekarsblog.blogspot.in/2017/02/who-needs-rera-real-estate-regulation-and-development-act-2016.html
Whether one saves money, donates it or blows it at gentleman's club in New York, Macau or Las Vegas is none of my business. But I am writing this because communist feminism is seen clearly in this blog.
Baah, now call me sexist but I don't give a damn. Now Trupti Desai & her chappal chhap gang will sit outside Ravi's house to delete my this post ! Maybe Maneka Gandhi will also jump in.
Totally agree with you. I am facing similar issues in my life. My wife's mother asked my wife not to live with me because I don't have a house. Basically my wife's family is forcing me to buy a house near to her maternal home so that my wife can stay near to her family. Also, my wife refused to contribute in home loan because she thinks it is my responsibility to get house and I should not ask for her support.
DeleteWhy is your mother in law/MIL poking nose in your financial life ?
DeleteAnyway, do 2 simple things -
1. Tell your wife & MIL that you still are not sure where you will settle down. If you get good offer, you can change city as well.
2. If still they ask you to buy, it is better to tell them, that it won't be possible unless you get into age of 35-40 because you will finalize city to settle down in this period only (say this even if you can buy earlier).
And now see the reaction. If they agree, issue closed.
If your wife agrees but MIL doesn't, then also issue closed.
But if your wife doesn't agree with or without your MIL & she is acting quite selfish, especially when she knows all the details, I would strongly suggest to visit marriage councilor. First go alone, give all details & then see what he/she says. It's always better to take professional advice & take decision by brain. Work of heart is only to pump & purify blood, nothing more. Don't know why some idiots keep blaming heart when mistake is of their brain for poor decisions ?
And location of flat has to be based purely on your convenience. What has proximity with your MIL to do with your location of house ?
@TheMonk
DeleteVery well said .
What if the girl is asked if she owns a flat(like they ask the guy during marriage proposal).
@I am learning. You'd better read/learn about these laws...in case ....as mentioned above.
1. DV Act of 2005.
2. Section 125 of CrPC.
3. Dowry Prohibition Act especially sections 3 and 4 (relating to taking and giving dowry)
So true!! This still remains a fact in Indian culture that we work hard and sweat to own a home and not to live life! Staying in a rented apartment seems like a stigma in society! I also went through the same in my career, I sold off my own flat and shifted to rented place to raise capital to start my own business which surprised many but it reduced immense pressure on my standard of living! I am in a business of construction and my livelihood depends on flat buyers but personally I always suggest that we should buy an apartment of our own only if we can easily afford it and it's not a burden on our standard of living! In countries like USA, buying apartment and cars is on a downward slope as many young people prefer to live in rented apartment and cars! The above blog is truly an eye opener and a reality of our culture!
ReplyDelete" I am in a business of construction and my livelihood depends on flat buyers but personally I always suggest that we should buy an apartment of our own only if we can easily afford it and it's not a burden on our standard of living!"
Delete- Agree 100% & this has to be appreciated since it is being said by a builder himself. Glad to see this.
" In countries like USA, buying apartment and cars is on a downward slope as many young people prefer to live in rented apartment and cars! "
- This is because house buying is not an emotional decision for them, neither do relatives frown upon if someone has not purchased a house. In pre-2008, lot of house buying which took place was only due to financial/monetary benefits which later ended up in sub-prime crisis & US has still not recovered from the damage caused due to this even till date.
In India & in Pune too, I have seen big companies leasing office spaces despite the fact that they can buy not just 1 but 10 such buildings. Reason being renting works out to be far cheaper than outright purchase. Same goes with the case of flat.
Car sales are up, mobile phone sales are up, air travel is rising 20% YoY but real estate sales are crashing.
To have sustainable business, builders should focus on end users & volumes rather than making investors happy by jacking up prices where there are no buyers. This is precisely why real estate is in mess today.
Greed:
ReplyDeleteNaturally women are considered Greedy. They are very much like a frog jumping on the random stones in lake. The moment it sees stone dismantling, it jumps on to another & so on. Everybody must have observed it during college days about girls find 'better' option to 'jump' in case of studies or TP ;).
The same thing applicable here too. Coming to getting married, girls choose best option in terms of income & the one who can splurge money on her Importantly. So guy with healthy assets, bank balance, FDs but average lifestyle, small car, rented or small flat, average furnished flat is big NONO for them. They can look for a guy who spends lot on Gold jewelry, big LED tv, sedan car, costly apparels & of course bigger flat with costly furniture.
Jealousy:
Pl do little more research & you will find that astrologically women are represented by VENUS which also indicates Money, Jealousy, Luxury, Flirting, Hypocrisy.
Girls experience real peer pressure from there feminine group as to who excels bigger? So if a friend is married to guy with nice flat with hifi furniture, she start looking for 'better' option out of jealousy.
Here is the catch: Women don't care for improving facial skin, nourishing it from scratch using some cost free home remedies rather they look out for costly cosmetics which will make their face look(?) healthy. Similarly, they don't care for loans, EMIs, financial dependence. On a contrary, presentation in the eyes of social & jealous feminine circle should look good. Since loans, EMIs are hidden (I mean not seen by people one can always bluff about NET WORTH). I have seen many people(mostly girls) lauding about their net worth in terms of property, gold etc.
This whole plethora is driving world like crazy & one of the major culprit for high RE prices. Builders must thank women community for this.
It is recommended to stay away from Sharaab (alcohol), Kabab (meat) & Shabaab (women) to lead a peaceful & successful life.
DeleteBtw, this is an year old news about Indian men but very important.
Married men twice as likely to commit suicide than married women: Report
Married men are twice as likely to commit suicide than married women. However, after divorce or in the case of the spouse's death, men's propensity to commit suicide falls sharply.
According to latest data by National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), close to 60,000 married men committed suicide in 2014 as compared to 27,000 married women.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Married-men-twice-as-likely-to-commit-suicide-than-married-women-Report/articleshow/48220552.cms
Very nice post .. Worth reading ......
ReplyDeleteHello Ravi,
ReplyDeleteFirstly kudos to this girl who has shared her life story, definitely a good drafted plan for future but her opinions are not very realistic. But while reading, it got a bit boring. I would write some text in Marathi now so you get my drift. Mi ya blog var lokanchya life stories vachayla nahi yet, mi yeto tumche vichar ani mat aikayla cause it really makes sense and over the period I have learnt many things. Moreover this girl khup emotional houn hey mail/patra/letter tumhala lihila ahe. 22 years chi astana cha pagaar sangitala yevdhach personal story sangaychi ahe tar attacha pan pagaar sangaycha na 1bhk cha loan piece of cake ahe ha shanpana kashala. Ani mulanna pan ghara ani loan ghenyachi hous naste karava lagta cause its our social and personal demands we live under cloud that house is also asset apan nakkich hey visarto ki 1st house apan kadhich viknar nahi cause we need place to stay 2nd house is more like an investment or an asset. Social responsibilities astat kiti jhala tari. Bhadyachya gharat rahaycha is not a problem but jashe hiche parents ahet tashech mulanche pan astat tyana hi mulancha pagaar nako asto but gharachya mage lagtat so that guys settle down. Our culture and society is built on those terms. Fine dining, travel sagalyanch avadta who doesnt want to stay in city, close to malls, shopping centers, schools, hospitals, theatres. Paay anthurun baghun pasarave ki barobar hota sagla. 50k per month astanna 30 lakhs cha loan gheun nahi basaycha mag pachtava hoto but 20 cha ghetala tar kahi harkat nahi. I hope majha message convey jhala asel.
@Monk - Why are being antagonist against girls? It feels as if you have been troubled by women all your life and this is your way of getting back to them.
@Gyani.... TheMonk just stated the facts....
DeleteThe girl is never asked the question as to how is she planning to provide for the family?
Traditionally males were providers and females were nurturers, but now with times boys as very much expected to be nurturers(good cooks, good with kids and household).
But the same responsibility has not been expected from girls - a girl doing a guys work is still considered as exceptional and which is done beyond her responsibility.
Read the following laws if you would:
1. DV Act of 2005.
2. Section 125 of CrPC.
3. Dowry Prohibition Act especially sections 3 and 4 (relating to taking and giving dowry)
If you are not aware of the pertinent question " Tumhi 2 varsha passon Pune la aahet, mag swata-cha flat naahi ghetla ka" during matrimonial proposal then you really need to get a bit more gyaan.
"@Monk - Why are being antagonist against girls? It feels as if you have been troubled by women all your life and this is your way of getting back to them."
Delete- LoL, I keep safe distance from highly inflammable & harmful substances, so I need not bother about plastic face, chicken head girls.
Fact is today, it is extremely rare to find a girl who will marry you for what you are as a person. Marriage has become more of a bidding game, a tag is put on the girl & auction starts. The highest bidder gets the girl.
One of my friend was asked by girl's family to show bank statements of past 6 months even when my friend had no interest in this girl at all ! I asked my friend that were they parents or pimps ? LoL.
The place where I stay, in my adjoining society, a case was filed by girl under section IPC 498A, dowry, physical & mental harassment within 3 months in marriage (arranged, verified by close relatives...don't know which ape did background check) & guess what, the boy's family is so rich, that they can buy out entire girls close & distant relatives at table rate !! She demanded 1.25 Cr to withdraw the case. So, 1.25 Cr for 3 months, which is over 13.5k/night, too overpriced for her, Lol. This is in addition to over 1kg gold & Solitaire diamonds given to her as wedding gift. Good thing is boy's family won the case & court said to pay alimony of mere 5k/per month ! His lawyer advised them to file defamation case against girl, but they weren't interested. But in all this, that boy's college going sister suffered a lot of mental agony. Fortunately, the neighbours in their society stood with them due to which cops could easily find out the truth. So neighbours of different caste stood with them when their same caste relatives were watching the fun.
Btw, found an old news. It shows how divorce is increasing in Pune. Cases highest when both are in IT & other factor is poking 100 km long nose of in-laws.
Rising affluence leads to more divorce cases in Pune -
IT professionals constituted a major part of these separating couples.
http://www.dnaindia.com/mumbai/report-rising-affluence-leads-to-more-divorce-cases-in-pune-1657079
DIVORCE CASES ON THE RISE - (doubled in 10 years)
WHEN MOST PRONE? - When both husband and wife are working
REASONS FOR DIVORCE? - Interference by relatives/in-laws in couple's lives
goo.gl/ikqcC4
Now certainly I won't say all girls are cheap but finding one who looks (apart from money) also for strength of character, humility, compassion etc. is rare. Ofcourse, in recent past 2 of my close friends did get married to such girls & I am very happy for them. One is married to Portuguese, other has married Polish girl (we now call him khamba-pole) ! (no nonsense caste based arranged marriage with limited options) & topping on this is that my friends parents are very happy with their daughter-in-law (though they had reservations earlier).
@ Horizon,
Agree 100% with you.
@Horizon and @TheMonk - Tumhi manavar ghetala rao. See what I have written I have been sarcastic in my comments towards this girl's so called Perfect Decision Of Lifetime story. And Im well educated about the laws. All I wanted to say is a guy has to do this for his future not necessary to get married, society. Basically Girls are not worried about house but there are some greedy girls like some guys are not human but animals, but this is fed into their minds by relatives, parents, society under impression of security if things dont go well. Its like creating insecurity in mind and prepare for security just by anticipating future. Real culprits are these people who interfere and this should be understood by both parties in marriage.
DeleteAnd over the period I see you guys talking about these divorce and laws related to marriage and conflicts. This forum is to educated people about purchasing property. People buying houses at right price, right place and treated with transparency and know what they are getting into is more important. Kon Konashi lagna kartat ani per night kiti padle kivha padtil yacha vichar ani discussion apan ka karaycha. IT wale well educated loka ahet akkal vapartil personal life madhe sudha ashi peksha karu shakto.
And coming back to this blog written by this girl I would still say atta cha pagaar nahi sangitala tar nako aslela shanpana nako. I hope you agree with me now.
@Ravi - Would you say a befitting reply.
@Horizon - Me 2 varsha pasun punyat ahet... changali memory ahe. I wrote it sometime back. Well Im searching for a flat from 2 years ofcourse not continuosly. Ani atta mala kahi gadbad nahiye. But me nakki ghein and most appropriate way.
"Real culprits are these people who interfere and this should be understood by both parties in marriage."
Delete- Real culprits are those who let such such junkies interfere at first place. Once the party gets the message that their poking nose is not having any effect on others, the process automatically stops.
Problem is not the action of others but the reaction which is completely in our control.
"This forum is to educated people about purchasing property."
- Yes, but this is the major issue why people buy flat even when their mind says against it. Purchase of house is decision, what we discussed above are the factors which make such (ill)decisions.
"And coming back to this blog written by this girl I would still say atta cha pagaar nahi sangitala tar nako aslela shanpana nako. I hope you agree with me now. "
Agree to this point.
And this question will come as news in Ravi's new blog -
Hinjewadi cum Kothrud woman files defamation case against Babaji.
Babaji seeks anticipatory bail, says he's only sharing gyaan !
@GyaaniBaba ji.... See yes we this blog is about real estate....but we always need to consider the factors, that influence real estate ...esp in India where prices are determined by emotional(rather than rational) thought processes...
Delete@TheMonk _ What decision drives anybody to buy house is not important isnt that a personal decision. Important thing to this forum is consumer awareness about hidden clauses and factors while purchasing property. So I dont think you understand my point so you can continue speak about people's emotions and their driving forces to buy a house, and how women want to marry guys with house and divorce statistics of the nation. As far as Im concerned the process of Buying house, Loans, Government rules and Builder's construction quality, location details, Legal Formalities, Questions that should be asked and should be informed about are more important. It will help people immensely if you can share information about it.
DeleteHi, this is the first time I am on this blog. Great comments.
ReplyDeleteBeing a daughter and daughter-in-law I have always taken care of both set of parents.
However boys who say their wife forces them. How spineless they are to just follow only their wife and ignore parents. It does not mean that you should ignore ur wife n litsen to only your parents.
My cousin brother used to say a great thing - how will a wife who comes after say 21 years in a husband's life, know the pain and bounding that a son and his family has gone though. Do not expect a wife to undrerstand that.
That's why wife has strong bond with her maternal family. she grew up with them.
A guy should know when to put his foot down. And explain to his wife
Being a daughter and daughter-in-law i have tried taking care of both set of parents.
ReplyDeleteA wife wouldn't know the pain and bonding that husband has gone through while growing up with family.
Same way, husband wouldnt know pain and bonding that wife has gone through while growing up.
If a girl stands for her family, why cannot a guy stands for his parents and sibling. But again, I have seen severe cases of harrassment to girls even in techie families.
We have all kind of cases in indian scenarios,